Monday, December 30th, 2002
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10:42 pm
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I guess this is going to be my last entry for a wile.. My parents have decided to get rid of the internet. So if anyone responds to this or sends me any emails. I wont be getting them unless I go to someone's house to use the internet.
well goodbye for how ever long it takes to get internet back.
-seth
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Sunday, December 22nd, 2002
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8:41 pm
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ya, well my parents have decided to get rid of the internet... So I wont be online anymore after january 1st.
So.......bye
-seth
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, October 6th, 2002
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11:41 am
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I haven't really used this in a long time and I haven't talked to most of you guys for a long time so......
Ummmm Hi everyone..
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, August 18th, 2002
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1:46 pm - Newburyport friends should read this
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ok you know what fuck hanging out with my friends because none of them are worth it.
I am not going to mention there names because I don't need them giving me any shit for this.
One of them doesn't care what we do as long as it mean i am driving people somewhere. He NEVER pays me for gas money and always fucking sings in the car. He always expects me to drive everywhere when he wants to do something and not have to give me gas money or anything. He thinks he can say whever he wants to anyone about anything with no result. He always TRY' S to make other people look bad or TRY'S to show off.
Another one of them always complains about everything we do. " I don't want to go that far " " we wont have enough time " " that is going to cost to much money " " it's to late to go there " I mean come on, Grow up.. Think about other people.
When you make plans with him and you call him back all the plans have changed and they don't include me anymore. He tells other people that he does not like or like to spend any time with the people from Newton. But jumps at the chance to go to boston.
I don't have any problems with any of my other friends, It is just these two that are going to remain un-named. They both are very selfish in anything and everything they do. Everything is always about them. They both like to change plans around just to acomidate them and no one else. Both also like to exclude people from plans for no reason.
Both like to change things to fit what they want to do no matter how many other people it maked things hard for.
I hope you both read this and know who you are and realize how you are
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, August 15th, 2002
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8:10 am - No Warped Tour For Me....
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So my dad just randomly decided to be in an asshole mood, And as soon as I came home from Chris's house he just went off on me. Then he decided that I couldn't go to warped tour today.
I fucking hate it when he does this shit to me. He does it so much that it's not even funny. I have been waiting for warped tour for so long... I got my ticket and everything was going to go right for once... But he fucking had to take that away from me...
All he kept saying to me last night was how dissapointed he was in me and saying why couldn't I be a better son.
Maybe he's right... I mean everyone has told me stuff like that all my life..... maybe they are right... I mean everything is my fault anyways, So I guess it's me that makes my life so shitty... I guess I am the one that screws up everything good in my life...
Well whatever it is.... It fucked up this...
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, July 27th, 2002
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5:28 pm
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Today has basically sucked.
All my friends decided to go to the movies and didn't tell me what time or anything. I was informed 10 minutes before they were going to leave. So I decided not to go..
I figured that because the movie started at 2:30 they would be home later and I could hang out with them. But it is now like 5:30 and none of them are home.. I really don't think a movie is going to go for 3 hours.
So I guess they all found something to do and don't really care much to call me or anything and see if I want to join them..
Also my dad took my truck to do some stupid shit, So I have no truck to go anywhere... My mom came home and started telling me all this shit to do because I was home with nothing to do..
She decided to walk down to where my dad is with the truck, But she wont let me use her car. And she wont drive the car down to where my dad is and let me take the truck back. So I have no way to get anywhere. And I have no friends around to go anywhere with.
I don't know how long my parents are going to be gone for with the truck, So I probably wont get to use the truck later tonight to go see Alicia...
Well tomorrow my friends and I have all planned a trip to Water Country. But knowing my luck it will eather rain or my parents will say they need the truck...
So today was a very unproductive day.... All I did was sit in my room watch movies and draw..
Well I guess I will just go back to doing nothing..
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(comment on this)
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Thursday, July 18th, 2002
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7:31 pm - aRe YoU iNsAnE ? tAkE tHe TeSt AnD fInD oUt.
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Wednesday, July 17th, 2002
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9:23 pm
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I spent my day watching movies talking and listening to music at Sarah's house with Nate.
It was fun joking around and laughing at each other. I even got another nick name thanks to Sarah.. But I don't mind it, So it's all good.
But ya it was lots of fun.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Wednesday, July 3rd, 2002
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7:13 pm - Don't Read, Just venting a little bit.
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It's clear to me now that it is time for me to just give up, I do not want to but I have to.
I just can't fight these things, Maybe everything about me changing was a little to true....
But whatever it was, I lost.... I lost everything....
But why do I still want what I know I can't have ?
I just can't seem to be happy, No matter what I do or try or say I'm really not happy....
I guess I can hide it well.
I guess I just don't understand some things...... She says I was the best thing that has ever happened to her, She says she loves me with all her heart....
But if it's all true then why did this happen ?
If those things were true then everything that happened must have been my fault...
I guess I did something or didn't do something.....But I don't know.....
I mean there hasn't been one day that has gone by that I haven't thought about her.
There hasn't been one day that has gone by that I haven't wanted her back.
There hasn't been one day that has gone by that I haven't loved her.....
But she's happy, and she has a new life now. A new life that doesn't have time for me anymore. She has a fast paced life, I guess I was just slowing her down....
Maybe it's better this way. She should have someone to make her happy.
I don't know why I wrote all of this, I mean it is just a bunch of stuff that I was thinking about alot. I probably shouldn't have even posted this, But I just don't care what people think anymore.... And if I want to come out and say something I am going to. If you don't like it don't read it. But I guess one of the reasons that I wrote all this is so she could see some of the ways I feel about this, And to know that I still love her with all my heart.
Who knows I might get lucky and she might even have some time to call me
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(8 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, June 24th, 2002
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8:10 pm
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Little Johnny was just being potty trained and his mom tried this new method with 6 steps:
1. Unbutton pants
2. Pull pants down
3. Pull foreskin back
4. Pee
5. Push foreskin forward
6. Pull pants up and button
She walked past the bathroom one day and heard Johnny going 1,2,3,4,5,6 and she was thinking she did good.
Then she walked past the next day and heard him saying real fast 3-5,3-5,3-5...
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, June 19th, 2002
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10:47 pm - Pondering.... Don't bother reading...
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Why do I have these feelings ?
Sometimes I don't understand them....I wish I could.... I just keep following my heart and they keep leading me back to the same place. The same person.... Her..... Why her ?
I know that what it tells me is right.... But does her's say the same ? Or is it leading her to someone else ?
Having someone and loving them is the greatest feeling in the world. Then losing them and still loving them and watching them slowly slip out of your grasp....
No matter how much I try it feels like this is something I will not be able to over come.....
It feels more and more each passing day that I have really lost her....
I don't like that idea......I want her back..
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Sunday, June 16th, 2002
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5:25 pm
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I'm so fucking stupid.
I Don't even know why I did what I just did. What the fuck is wrong with me.
I just hurt her so much. It's my fucking fault.
Why did I do that...
I know I shouldn't have done that... I just let one more person slip out of my life.
She fucking cared about me and I just pushed it off to the side.
I'm such a fucking asshole.
I don't even deserve to fucking live. Why the fuck do I hurt people. I do it all the time.
I shouldn't have done that... And now I see it.. I'm so fucking blind. I couldn't see it.
What the fuck was I doing.
I can't believe I did that. I keep making so many fucking mistakes.
I fucking give up. Maybe I should fucking be alone. At least then I wouldn't hurt people.
current mood: I feel like fucking shit !
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, June 11th, 2002
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6:28 pm
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Monday, June 10th, 2002
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4:36 pm - People Piss Me Off
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People never listen.
People never hear.
People never understand.
People never care.
People never trust.
People never help.
People never give.
People only destroy.
People only hurt.
People only talk.
People only take.
People only neglect.
People only cause pain.
current mood:  angry
current music: Blink 182 - Adam's Song
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, June 6th, 2002
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9:53 pm
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Time changes everything.
Why does time change people so much ? It makes them forget.
Promise's go away and become old news.
Time never stays the same. Every minute is different no two are the same.
Along those lines, No two people are the same. And no two people change the same way.
Time changed me some how, I'm not the same person I was. I not what everyone knew before. I don't know who I am... I don't know what I want to be.
Is there something that I should be ?
Whats wrong with me ?
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, June 3rd, 2002
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3:45 pm
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Well on my walk to the T station at 4:30 this morning I was able to think about some things and I noticed that I always end up fucking myself over.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, June 1st, 2002
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9:10 pm - CHRIS AND I TOOK THE LESBIAN TEST !
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3:05 pm - My first car accident.
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Well....Today I got into a car accident...
It all started on the highway. I was following my uncle who was following my mother.
On the highway some kids in there shitty little car decided that they were going to cut me off. And they got in between my truck and my uncle's truck. They thought it was funny that they cut me off.
We had to go through Hampton and we came to a stop light. My mother and my uncle made it through But the kids in the car in front of me didn't. They came to a stop and I stopped behind them.
Traffic was moving really slow so my mother and uncle were just sitting on the other side of the lights waiting for things to start moving again.
The light turned Green and the kids started to move. Right in the middle of the intersection they decided that it would be funny if they just slamed on the breaks or something like that. So they did.... I ended up plowing into the back of there car because I didn't have time to stop.
I pulled over and made sure that they were all ok. But then the kid driving the car started giving me shit. He was like " what the fuck do you think you are doing " and all this.
The thing that I think was funny was the fact that the only thing that happened to his car was The Bumper Sticker was ripped and there were a few scrapes.
The only thing that happened to my truck was the license plate is scratched up.
He was giving me shit over a bumper sticker that cost's like 3 bucks.
I can't believe some people..
The thing that sucks the most about this is......
Even though he was being a dick and slammed on his breaks on purpose it's still my fault because I hit him. There isn't anything I can do about it either.
The good thing is my mom saw it and she knows it was not my fault... The bad thing is my dad didn't see it happen and he came after it happened and he went rip shit on m
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Saturday, May 18th, 2002
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10:02 pm
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Saturday, May 11th, 2002
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11:25 am
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Well my weekend is going to suck,
I had made plans with people to hang out, But they decided that they didn't want to and went and did something else.
I can't find anyone else around that wants to do anything....And even if they were they would want to do something active and I can't do anything like that because of my sprained ancle... So I would be left out eather way.
Tomorrow is Mothers Day, So I probably wont be able to do anything tomorrow....Even though no one will be around anyways....
This sucks...
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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